Can A Single Elderly Person

[Redhelen72]

Who is willing to pay for it take themselves off to respite?
I am struggling to see the point!
Do they get assessed for future needs etc at respite?

[barry1010]

SAGA - Sex and Games for the Aged :)
It's her money, she can spend it how she pleases. If she wants a break, help her arrange it if you want to.
Saga's UK hotel holidays seem to start from £1600 per week

[MissTerious]

I have to agree, if its her money then she can do what she likes with it.

[jennyjoan]

If she can afford it whatever she goes for or wants to - Let her go. She should enjoy it. If she has the money she has may as well as spend it there are no pockets in your shroud.

[Redhelen72]

I have just phoned another home to get a quote and they asked why she wanted respite if she lives alone and does not require nursing care!! I couldn't answer them!
She will not go on holiday and I can guarantee you as soon as we tell her how much this is going to cost she will not go!
This is another exercise is getting Martine to run around making enquiries and taking up my time only for her not to do anything about it.

[jennyjoan]

the poor lady is her own worst enemy. if you phone again another place eg - no it is not nursing care as she is by the sound of her - quite mobile. All of them are around that price. Very expensive.

[naomi24]

She asked no. 1 son to make enquiries. Why are you ‘running around’?

You’re very critical of her but ultimately how she spends her money is her business.

[Redhelen72]

//She asked no. 1 son to make enquiries. Why are you ‘running around’?//
He said he has too much on and asked me to do it

//You’re very critical of her but ultimately how she spends her money is her business.//
I don't care how she spends her money and after years fo being put down by that women I suppose I am critical of her. But I have spent my time over the last few years running around trying to make her life easier only for her not to accept any help - now I get phone messages from complete strangers asking me why I am not doing more to help her!

[naomi24]

Life with in laws can be tough at times but either do it with a good heart or say ‘no’. Then you’ll both know where you stand and she can ask the strangers to do it.

[Redhelen72]

Thank you for your words of wisdom.
She has been my inlaw for 26 years and I know how her devious mind works.

[Redhelen72]

Apologies for coming on here to vent!
It really does seem that some can vent on here and some can't!

[naomi24]

No one is stopping you venting.

[MissTerious]

Helen, in so many ways she sounds like my late mother and my life became very difficult. So I do know how you feel. Basically mum was lonely. We did absolutely everything we could to try and help, but nothing worked and she too lost all her friends in the end. I think she tried every care home in norfolk. I had her with me for 6 months and I just couldnt cope with it. We were even prepared to build her a granny annex until she messed that up.

Good luck!

[barry1010]

Your mother in law is causing you too much angst. Time to tell your husband he will have to deal with her himself and refuse to have any more contact with her.

[Redhelen72]

Today is dad's birthday - and again just as on his funeral day I am running around after her!

LL - she is a very difficult MIL - who thinks that she should come first in her son's life before wives do!
According to her I am a failure because I could not have children! and so it goes on

[MissTerious]

LL - she is a very difficult MIL - who thinks that she should come first in her son's life before wives do!
According to her I am a failure because I could not have children! and so it goes on .......

I know all too well how that is. My mother thought she should be the most important thing in my life and actively tried to destroy our marriage. When I was young she tried to destroy my relationship with my father. She was a very attractive lady who got loads of attention. Life and soul of the party. Always wanted to be the centre of attention and couldn't cope when she got old and turned very bitter and drove people away.

[naomi24]

When people feel they’re being driven away, taking the hint and actually going is often very effective in changing the driver’s attitude. Make yourself a doormat and those who are so inclined will continue to wipe their boots on you.

[meaghan72]

She is not your mother; you have no obligation to help her at all.

[ladybirder]

This is obviously upsetting you a lot RH. It's about time your OH stepped up and sorted it out.

[Redhelen72]

I just found out that she left a voicemail on a friends phone to say that she has had enough and is going to take all her pills apparently she said she was telling them because she couldn't tell us!

She did this on the day we were flying back.

[MissTerious]

Just like my Mum!

Not all Mums are wonderful! I hope my son is benefitting by my experiences when my Mum got old! I've tried so much not to interfere in his life unless it's really necessary.