Why Does This Have To Be Me?

[abbeylee90]

I got a job I don't enjoy with not enough hours, no car, no boyfriend and no house. I thought I'd have alot more going for me I did years so feel like I did something and being punished 

[newmodarmy]

Will do.

[Countrylover]

I have  to admit I now  oome on here late at night to join in with wordle and and waffle and a bit of harnless good natured banter,but try to keep away during the day whilst logged off to see if there are any threads worth answering or if I can help.  If not, I don't hang about.  I agree with Barsel and Smow. If the site goes on like this, it will fizzle out. More and More abers are just fed up with all these repetitive posts. Numbers are dropping.   It's not good enough to say just ignore them.   Thats treating us like school kids.  The site needs a complete revamp imho.

 

 

 

I have  to admit I now  oome on here late at night to join in with wordle and and waffle and a bit of harnless good natured banter,but try to keep away during the day whilst logged off to see if there are any threads worth answering or if I can help.  If not, I don't hang about.  I agree with Barsel and Smow. If the site goes on like this, it will fizzle out. More and More abers are just fed up with all these repetitive posts. Numbers are dropping.   It's not good enough to say just ignore them.   Thats treating us like school kids.  The site needs a complete overall imho, but there seems to be no interest from the management.

[abbeylee90]

I am having s counselling sesh today 

[1ozzy]

//To be perfectly honest I look at these threads and all I see is abbey being bombarded with questions and instructions - one after another - non-stop. //

Would that be due to the repetitive questions being asked Naomi?

Just wondering,,,

[newmodarmy]

So now Abbey is being bombarded with questions . I thought it was a two way thing as she us bombarding the site with the same questions day after day.

The first is her prerogativ e- that's fine but why shouldn't we ask questions in return to clarify what she says which us often garbled. And Naomi you say we're bombarding her with instructions- did you mean advice? Advice she has asked for?

Ab needs traffic but for someone with her learning disabilities and mental health itching we are doing no favours by allowing all these posts and encouraging her- and then alienating other posters, who have tried so hard to help, by telling them to shut up/ keep off the threads. She needs urgent medical help but we can't offer that...and our advice on that is ignored.

[newmodarmy]

Itching = issues

Us = is

[lankeela]

What makes you think Abbey needs urgent medical help?  I suspect her family and doctor are fully aware of her limitations and there is little that can be done in that respect.  Its a fact that some people are just not able to hold down a full time job for various reasons, lack of communication skills being one of them and emotional response to others is another.  

[naomi24]

I'm struggling to understand what the complainers actually want.  

[lankeela]

One of the last boys I worked with would come across as "normal" to anyone who didn't know him.  If that person asked him a question he would give a response that would appear to be reasonable, but if you knew him you would know it was entirely unreasonable.  For example if you asked him if he would be able to start work the next day as a fighter pilot he would ask what time you wanted him to start.  He would have no concept of what it actually meant or involved.  

[newmodarmy]

Fair enough Lankeela if you don't agree she needs to see a doctor about mental health issues dyspraxia and ASD.

Do you have any suggestions that should be given ?

[Ringlet]

Nothing is ever going to work out for you while you are so self-absorbed.  You seem unable to concentrate on anything that involves consideration of other people and their feelings.  

You can change this, if you try.  But you don't seem motivated enough to try.  

[lankeela]

You must have realised by now that whatever we say Abbey doesn't take any notice.  So you either go along with it and offer some suggestions or don't bother replying to any of her posts.  Just don't expect anything you say to be taken notice of, however sensible you think your suggestions are.  

[lankeela]

Ringlet you wrote "You can change this, if you try."  I don't believe she can.  It is not a lifestyle choice, it is a medical condition that affects her communication skills and how she responds to things.  

 

All we can do is try to reassure her but not expect her to change.

[naomi24]

//All we can do is try to reassure her but not expect her to change.//

 

That I think is the most sensible- and the most helpful - post I've seen on these threads.  Well said, Lankeela.

[calmck]

The American Psychiatric Association (APA)'s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, DSM-5 classifies Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) as a discrete motor disorder under the broader heading of neurodevelopmental disorders.[2] It is often described as a disorder in skill acquisition or motor learning, where the learning and execution of coordinated motor skills is substantially below that expected given the individual's chronological age.[3] Various areas of development can be affected by DCD and these may persist into adulthood.[4][5][6]

In children, DCD may exhibit as delays in early development of sitting, crawling, walking; poor ability or difficulties with childhood activities such as running, jumping, hopping, catching, sports and swimming; slowness; frequent tripping and bruising; poor handwriting skills; difficulties with self care; difficulties with skills such as using cutlery or tying shoelaces; poor spatial understanding; difficulty following instructions; poor time management; and often losing objects.[7]

In adulthood, in addition to a childhood history as above, the condition may manifest as a difficulty learning new motor skills or applying skills in a different or busy environment, poor organisation and time management skills, missed deadlines and lateness for appointments (or earliness as a coping strategy), and awkward pauses before answering in conversation. There is often a history of underachievement in education or the workplace. Although skills can be acquired, such as neat handwriting, handwriting speed will then be much lower than expected.[7]

Evidence from research and clinical practice indicates that DCD is not just a physical disorder, and there may be deficits in executive functions, behavioural organisation and emotional regulation that extend beyond the motor impairments and which are independent of diagnoses of co-morbidities.[8] In addition to the physical or motor impairments, developmental coordination disorder is associated with problems with memory, especially working memory.[9] This typically results in difficulty remembering instructions, difficulty organizing one's time and remembering deadlines, increased propensity to lose things or problems carrying out tasks which require remembering several steps in sequence (such as cooking). Whilst most of the general population experience these problems to some extent, they have a much more significant impact on the lives of dyspraxic people.[10]However, many dyspraxics have excellent long-term memories, despite poor short-term memory.[10] Many dyspraxic people benefit from working in a structured environment, as repeating the same routine minimises difficulty with time-management and allows them to commit procedures to long-term memory.

[lankeela]

I rest my case!

[davebro3]

If Abbey has dypraxia to any significant degree I doubt she would be driving a car - even as a learner - or contemplating driving a forklift.

Perhaps if you want people to be interested in you you need to be an interesting person. e.g. take up a craft of some sort, follow a sport, play games, be a film buff, read books, go on "stop oil" demos. Anything really! 

[lankeela]

Do any of you remember 'Helen' the Catherine Tate character?  The one who said 'I can do that' when anyone wanted something doing, when in fact she had no idea what it involved.  For example someone needed an interpreter for seven different languages in a meeting and she said 'I can do that'?  That is how I believe Abbey is - I think she honestly doesn't know she is incapable of certain things.