The Essex girl walks into a Boots and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the Essex lass assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the Essex girl.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" says the Essex girl, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed Essex girl snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."