I appreciate that these cases are more complicated than they appear, but I simply don't understand why she stayed with this abusive monster for so long. At one point in the interview, the reporter asked her why she didn't leave him, and her response was "well, why didn't he stop ? "
If half of what she said was true, he was clearly a dangerous psychopath, so was she really expecting someone like that to suddenly stop his behaviour ?
Of course there are women who walk away....you don't often find them in statistics, but they will give testament to their own experiences when the issue arises.
Unfortunately, the inadequate thug will then move onto someone more vulnerable. That's what creates the trap, the vulnerability and these twisted individuals make sure that they isolate their victim, thereby increasing the vulnerability.
It's dreadful and should never be treated so dismissively as it so often is.
My youngest daughter was in an abusive marriage for ten months, but she did have the courage to walk away, bringing her baby with her.
They lived with us for a year, before she met her new partner, and they have settled happily into a new life together with her (now their) little boy who is secure and happy.
But even now, she will not go into town alone in case she meets her ex-husband, even in broad daylight, he still has that hold over her.
Luckily your daughter and granddaughter had you to run to Andy. I could guess that most of the abused women stay where they are because they don't have anyone to run to.
"Surely there are women who wouldn't put up with it. Women who would walk out of a relationship at the first ( or second, maybe) bout of violence. "
There certainly are, db. Most, I would say. But we're all different as has been mentioned. Not all women crumble into a heap when confronted by a violent partner. Many of them give as good as they get. We're talking here about the ones who don't; the ones who may have vulnerabilities for various reasons.
Divebuddy...we ran a business. A very successful business. The accountant started putting things into place so I didn't leave with nothing. It took two years. I left with a well paid job he couldn't legally sack me from and a house the accountant helped me buy. 3 weeks after moving into my new house I chucked him out.
I'm not a weak woman, I would fight back, that's why he used my children. He knew my instinct would be to protect them and not let them witness it.
Without the accountant I wouldn't have known what to do.
The kids are all grown now and barely remember anything about it. The one thing they do know is NEVER make someone scared in their own home and NEVER let someone make you scared.