Really Sad

[DEN53]

Just got back from seeing my Mum - she was transferred at around tea time to her permanent care home. I had to go in to take some tablets for her water infection that she has. I will never get my head around putting her in a place like that, I can't stop crying, but just had to off load my guilt.

I just hope she dies very soon, so not to endure the torture she must be in.

[kawakiri]

Den, my thoughts are with you, my mum was in a home for longer than I expected and the care home expected. The home was only 10 minutes from where I live but I couldn't bring myself to see her as much as I thought I should/would as I just got upset to see her as to me she wasn't really there. Of course I then felt guilty for not gong to see her. Fortunately early this year her body found the release that had taken her mind/soul years earlier.
For the last two years there was no recognition on her part at all, I still feel that she may have recognised me but the ability to express that recognition had gone.
Hope you find comfort in the support AB'ers provide.

[ttfn]

Den - what can I say to you that will make you feel any different about your sense of 'guilt'? There are some lovely ABers who have posted here and I particularly love Ratter's contribution. Take heart Den, you need to keep going for everyone's benefit - your mum and dad's let alone your own. I just hope you can get a good night's rest and that being aware of the care your mum is now given 24/7 you will find it easier to help your dad ♥

[Jemisa]

I've just popped back on & have seen your post Den. I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said by the ABers.
Please try not to feel guilty what on earth else could you have done,
If you carry guilt around with you like a sack of coals it will destroy you and you're the important one now and you've got to try to be strong.
I know they're only words but they're from the heart Den.

A Big Hug from me. - - Jem

[DEN53]

Morning Everyone - thank you for all your kind offers of support.

Ratter - even though you say most of the people you work with who have dementia are quite happy, unfortunately my Mum is never going to be one of them. She is in pure torment, she has no long term or short term memory and photo only make her cry.

I have to go out today and get new bedding and curtains for her, as the room at the home needs a serious make-over.

[mazie]

Hi Den...I e-mailed you this morning. Did you get it?