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Rondy

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Rondy

Ancestry

My girlfriend says I don't satisfy her anymore... Probably because I'm a man, not a cake shop! ____________________ I was shocked at price of those Ancestry DNA kits, so rather than spend £150, I just...
18:18 Wed 25th Nov 20202 answers, last by Canary42 21:44 Fri 27th Nov 2020
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Rondy

School Report

The School teacher sent home a note with her student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends far too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a note back the...
18:53 Tue 24th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Just Realised

On average, any American man will have sex two to three times a week, where as a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me, as I had no idea I was Japanese....
13:52 Tue 24th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Lion On The Loose

A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: "What's happening?" The runner replied breathlessly: "A lion has escaped...
18:16 Mon 23rd Nov 20201 answer, last by windywillow 18:21 Mon 23rd Nov 2020
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Rondy

The Paint Can

Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went....
18:11 Mon 23rd Nov 20203 answers, last by windywillow 18:20 Mon 23rd Nov 2020
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Rondy

Famous Quotes

Famous Mothers Quotes MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" COLUMBUS MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you...
09:42 Sun 22nd Nov 20206 answers, last by Bazile 12:12 Sun 22nd Nov 2020
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Rondy

Power Cut

During a recent power outage my PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, IPAD, and a new surround sound system were all shut down. Also, my mobile phone battery was dead. To make matters worse it was raining and I...
09:33 Sun 22nd Nov 2020
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Rondy

Rio Olympics

Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Rio to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system...
18:39 Sat 21st Nov 20202 answers, last by agchristie 22:30 Sat 21st Nov 2020
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Rondy

During Lock Down

The Olympic torch has more chance of going out this winter than me. _______________ If the Rovers, Queen Vic and the Woolpack are open for business tonight I'm kicking off! _______________ Greta...
19:47 Fri 20th Nov 20202 answers, last by tamborine 15:36 Sat 21st Nov 2020
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Rondy

Taking My Son Out For A Drink

An Irishman's first drink with his son: While reading an article last night about fathers and the sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our...
18:45 Thu 19th Nov 20207 answers, last by Patsy33 18:46 Sat 21st Nov 2020
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Rondy

Attractive Neighbours

My lesbian neighbours recently asked me to help them conceive a child. They said they didn't mind doing it the old fashioned way as they were both very liberal minded. Anyway, they're both very...
18:11 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Separate Beds

My wife thinks we should sleep in separate beds. Great idea... I've chosen Karen's, at number 23!...
17:36 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Fishing

Two fishermen are fishing off a bank dangling their legs in the water. A shark swims up and bites one of the men's leg off. "Oh no," shouts the man. "A shark's bitten my leg off." "Which one?" his pal...
14:22 Wed 18th Nov 20202 answers, last by jno 16:18 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Tight Jeans

I don't know about you but the buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other! _____________________ I went to the chemist today, I said ' do you know what best kills the virus ?'...
13:08 Wed 18th Nov 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 16:12 Wed 18th Nov 2020
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Rondy

G Spot

A friend of mine opened a strip club called 'The G-Spot'. It closed after a week as most men couldn't find it!...
13:47 Tue 17th Nov 20202 answers, last by Spicerack 14:04 Tue 17th Nov 2020
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Rondy

My Kids

Home schooling the kids yesterday, very stressful so breaking the rules I asked the neighbour could they take care of them between 4 and 10, they said 'yes' so I said : "Great, I'll pick them up when...
10:47 Mon 16th Nov 20203 answers, last by marval 20:11 Mon 16th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Social Distancing

Social distancing: The tatty shops on Blackpool promenade have started selling 'Blow Me A Kiss From A Safe Distance' hats! _____________________ Lockdown is really starting to get to me. I've spent...
17:15 Sat 14th Nov 20203 answers, last by iluvmargie 20:12 Sat 14th Nov 2020
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Rondy

50Th Reunion

A woman was shopping for something to wear to her 50th high school reunion when a group of teenage girls came into the same shop to try on dresses for their school prom dance. “Gross,” complained one...
16:08 Sat 14th Nov 20204 answers, last by Patsy33 19:40 Sat 14th Nov 2020
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Rondy

Barking Dog

I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you!
14:26 Sat 14th Nov 20204 answers, last by marval 16:57 Sat 14th Nov 2020

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