News1 min ago
A lorry shed its load of vickes nasal spray on the motorway. Police reported the congestion is now clearing
This chap came up to me and offered Wembley Stadium, Wembley Arena and Wembley Conference Centre.
I thought, he's trying to give me a complex. ___ I find it really difficult to separate fact from... ...
I thought, he's trying to give me a complex. ___ I find it really difficult to separate fact from... ...
The dance floor suddenly went quiet down at the care home when Doris shouted to old Fred, "NO...NO...I SAID I'VE GOT ACUTE ANGINA!"
A family died from hyperthermia outside a cinema in December, waiting to see closed for Christmas.
Why does England not have a kidney bank?. Because it has a liverpool. - Which days of the week are best for work?. Saturdays and Sundays, the rest are weak days. - What do you call a soldier... ...
I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went: "Hello sir, how are you today?" "I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to... ...
Yesterday I went to the wedding of a couple of young stable hands.
Made a lovely bridle and groom. ___ Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin both knew how to leave audiences speechless.
I guess great... ...
Made a lovely bridle and groom. ___ Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin both knew how to leave audiences speechless.
I guess great... ...
I wasn't planning on going for a run today.
But the Police came out of nowhere. ___ My great uncle drowned so at his funeral we had a wreath made for him in the shape of a lifebelt....well, it's what... ...
But the Police came out of nowhere. ___ My great uncle drowned so at his funeral we had a wreath made for him in the shape of a lifebelt....well, it's what... ...
A couple take in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in... ...
I've just walked out of our One stop shop and there was a very short bloke wearing a Fez shouting, '" Just like that " as he got into his car..
I think it was a Mini Cooper! ___ My fiancé left me... ...
I think it was a Mini Cooper! ___ My fiancé left me... ...
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Long Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was... ...
I'll go first. When I was 12, me and my friends thought it would be funny to make up a satirical religion. While drawing out a look for the "god" of the religion, we came up with the name... ...
NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to all the aliens.
They are calling it 'Apollo G' ___ I came so close to winning the lottery jackpot on Saturday.
My next door neighbour won it. ___ I failed... ...
They are calling it 'Apollo G' ___ I came so close to winning the lottery jackpot on Saturday.
My next door neighbour won it. ___ I failed... ...
When the missus saw me getting my golfing gear ready, she said, "Not golf again? You played all day yesterday" I said yeah, but we are doing the second hole today!
https:/ /www.bb c.com/n ews/art icles/c nkkp7ee jyqo ....your cattle puns please. ...
I just took a peek out of the kitchen window, and I saw a magpie prancing around on the lawn with a large chip, lengthways in it beak. I thought to myself, toucan play at this game!
Paddy and a monkey are shot into space both with envelopes to open with instructions inside.
The monkey opens his envelope first,
It says: Micky check all seals on hatches, make sure the oxygen... ...
The monkey opens his envelope first,
It says: Micky check all seals on hatches, make sure the oxygen... ...
My mate is an opera singer and it’s his birthday soon.
But, what can you get for a tenor these days? ___ Here's a thought, Why don't we replace Border Force
with a GP Receptionist
& then lets see who... ...
But, what can you get for a tenor these days? ___ Here's a thought, Why don't we replace Border Force
with a GP Receptionist
& then lets see who... ...
Years ago A young woman was walking down Tib Street in Manchester looking though the windows of all the petshops. A little hand written notice caught her eye, it simply said ' Cl****is licking... ...
Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints... ...