tonyav Member Profile in The AnswerBank

cab

Really looking forward

to xmas this year. I have nothing to do but sit back and enjoy. No shopping cooking or prepping. My friends are doing all the work. Yes I got something right at last. A very Happy Christmas to all my...

Groupie

My day at work

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop w*nking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

wasp

Two Nuns Walking In The Park

Were attacked and ravished by two men. " Lord forgive them for they know not what they do " said one of the nuns to which the other nun replied " Mine does "

Groupie

should have been yesterday

With the Strictly come Dancing final on tonight, I've been wondering who will get knocked out first. It'll probably be my girlfriend, as I want to watch the football.

~Wingnut~

Grrr not a happy bunny :o(

Some oik has keyed our car along with a few others down our street!! I am really angry and majorly peed off. We have a good idea who it was as their little gang think they own this estate and think...

BockingBob

Merry Christmas

This Christmas take the time to mention those three special words to your loved one ...............I'm off out.

denis567

Man gets into a lift

there is a beautiful girl already in the lift. "Can I smell your f*nny" he asks. "Certainly not" said the indignant girl. "Sorry, it must be your feet then".

Mortartube

Blind Peoples Outing

A coach driver has taken a load of blind people out for a summer outing. He is driving them back home when he notices a lovely little pub by a village green. Having been driving all day in the summer...

trisha2008

mercedes

does anyone know if mercedes has inline engine thank you, trisha2008

cstocken1

vauxhall vectra 2.0 sri 1998

my vectra keeps cuttin out when i stop all time i have been told its a senser but does any body no what one it is

eash

No Blog

I wonder why the Ed hasn't posted a blog in a while....

tonyav

scouser's

what does a scouse girl use as protection during sex ? a bus shelter. what do you call a 30 year old scouse girl ? granny. what do you call a scouse girl in a white track suit ? the bride. whats the...

docspock

Warned by Youtube

I have had 2 e-mails about my submissions. The singing babies doing the queen song , and the wobbly bare bum. What is the world coming to. Nice countryside piccies in future. Might try photobucket.

lesblue

Bloke staggers into a hospital

with two black eyes, severe cuts and bruises to the face, three teeth missing and a 7-iron wrapped around his neck. "What on earth happened to you?" said the Doctor. "Well," says the bloke, "I was...

suwilly

What is the music?

If you go onto www.whoisthemonkey.com and search for wedding video. It is of a couple doing the first dance at a wedding.Can anybody tell me what the music is?

puma86

engine coolant

Hi, My friend has a Ford Ka. She said her warning light tends to come on every now and then. Any ideas why this could be happening? I asked her if everything was topped up and she said she hadn't...

rescuer

Naughty rottweilers

Three rottweilers were at the vets,. The first, when the second one came in asked what he was there for. " I bit the postman and I'm going to be put down. What about you?' "I bit the milkman and they...

MrBounty

A Poor One....

There is a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board. The control centre in the US calls: "Monkey number 1, Monkey number 1 to the television screen." He sits down and he...

squarebear

Polish eye test

A Polish immigrant decided he needs some new glasses so he went to the optician. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked....

chedd

crappy car

i drive a 2.5 v6 vectra, 1998 model. its running very sluggish, despite new leads, plugs, coil, petrol filter, service, air filter, and still it drives like a bag of s--t, can anyone please please...

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