My wife saw a cockroach in the kitchen this morning, I've never seen her work so hard scrubbing everywhere in the kitchen spotlessly clean. Tomorrow, I'm going to put the fake cockroach in the... ...
My friend that has come into money is telling me that he is having his family tree researched. "Yes, and it is quite expensive, it cost £5,000." "Wow", I replied, "that is expensive!" "Yes, but it... ...
My ex divorced me because she said I treated her like a maid. But even the judge agreed that she should keep the house. ___ Kids, your mother and I are getting divorced. She said she’s leaving me... ...
A teacher asks her class to name things that end with TOR that eat things. The first little boy says: "Alligator" "Very good, that's a big word." The second boy says: "Predator." "Yes that's another... ...
A recent study has revealed that 58% of marriages end in misery. The other 42% end in divorce. ___ I divorced my cross-eyed wife. We didn’t see eye to eye. ___ Judge: “On what grounds do you want a... ...
Why are some people so nasty and unreasonable .. Shouting and screaming .. "Move your bleeding car you ***" the guy yelled at me .. I just walked off and left him ranting and raving, he was... ...
Gladiator: My name is Maximus Decimus Christophus Meridius commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to-... Barista: I've run out of room on the cup... ...
A guy answers his door one night and a massive cockroach is standing on his doorstep. Without warning, the cockroach attacks... It beats the man up, throws him across his front-room; and then runs... ...
I was in line for the ATM, I overheard: [Person 1]: Blimey, I don't get it.. [Person 2]: What's wrong? [Person 1]: My card wont work. [Person 2]: Did anything... ...
Little Johnny had finished his summer holiday and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with... ...
A bloke was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his Doctor. "Well... ...
Four beautiful ladies walked into a hotel to stay in for the night, the name of the hotel read, "Pleasure Giving Hotel For Women" The ladies were convinced and walked in. On the first floor a sign... ...
