Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.” “Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.” ___ John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front... ...
Bob, an undertaker recently came home with a black eye. His wife asked him: "What happened to you?" "I've had a terrible day," says Bob. "I had to go to a hotel where a guest had died in his... ...
In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the centre of town go two lights. Look for the post... ...
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The... ...
Did you know that when you pass on, the last things that stop working are your eyes? That's because the eyes die late... ___ Dear Ghosts: If you can move things around and flicker the lights; you can... ...
There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he... ...
A corporal gets called before his CO The CO bellows "Have you been AWOL, I've been trying to find you all morning?!" "No sir, I was at camouflage practice, Sir!" "Well I was at camouflage practice... ...
Two cannibals finished eating a professional footballer. One said to the other 'what did you think of that?' His mate replied 'he had a tasty left foot!'. ___ My wife is like a newspaper.
My very best friend passed away recently. Grieving in front of his grave, I said: "Bro I really miss you, my wife is eight months pregnant and I'd love it If you reincarnated as my new baby." One... ...
I was brought up in the country. Where we lived there were only four houses. One of the neighbours had twins, and they were so alike no one could tell them apart. Except me!! I noticed the boy was... ...
Just tried Kangaroo flavoured beer. You can really taste the hops! ___ My therapist says I need a woman in my life. But all the women I know say I need a therapist. ___ We’ve got an old castle near our... ...
My mate Jimmy visited London for a few days and went to see all the sights. One day, he went on a guided tour of HMS Victory. During the tour, the guide stopped the party and pointed to a raised... ...
Teacher: Why don't you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning. Student: What did I have? Teacher: Egg! Student: You're wrong! That was yesterday! ___ Recently moved to a... ...
A recent article in the Daily post reported that a man, Dave Harper has sued St Paul's hospital saying that after his wife had surgery there she had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman... ...