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Shaglene

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Shaglene

Over The Limit.................

I would like to share an experience with you all about drinking and driving. As you well know some of us have been known to have had rare brushes with the authorities on our way home from one social...
19:55 Tue 08th Mar 2022
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Shaglene

Annual Physical...............

A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical: - Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100? - That depends," says the doctor. Do you smoke? - No - Do you drink? - No - Do you...
16:09 Sun 06th Mar 20221 answer, last by Arksided 16:11 Sun 06th Mar 2022
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Shaglene

Taxi................

A man hails a taxi. "Where to?" asks the driver. "Waterloo please." "The station?" asks the driver. "Well, I'm a bit late for the battle."...
16:02 Sun 06th Mar 20222 answers, last by emily1890 23:00 Mon 07th Mar 2022
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Shaglene

My New Girlfriend.................

I thought my new girlfriend might be the one. But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurses outfit, a French maids outfit and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided that if...
14:33 Sat 05th Mar 20221 answer, last by Ken4155 14:48 Sat 05th Mar 2022
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Shaglene

Some More................

I wouldn't say the room was small but when I talked to myself, one of us had to step outside to reply. I said to the wife, 'I wish you wouldn't smoke in bed.' She said, 'But a lot of women do.' I...
19:21 Mon 28th Feb 20223 answers, last by 10ClarionSt 09:12 Wed 02nd Mar 2022
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Shaglene

A Few

I wouldn’t say they were posh, but the toilet coughed before it flushed. I wouldn’t say my wife’s ugly, but the milkman flirts with me. When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn’t take me to...
19:16 Mon 28th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Sick Vet..................

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him. "Hey look,...
13:58 Sun 27th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Silly Chicken Ones...................

Why was the chicken under arrest? The police officer suspected fowl play. How did the chicken make sure it was awake on time? It used an alarm cluck. What's the best way to learn about chickens? Read...
16:57 Fri 25th Feb 20222 answers, last by Hopkirk 17:00 Fri 25th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Worms....................

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the garden. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."...
11:55 Sun 20th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Shopping..................

Awful weather conditions today so just visited my 80 years old neighbour to ask if she needed anything from the shops. Turns out that she did, so I gave her my list too. No point in both of us going...
11:20 Sun 20th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Seven Lemons....................

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'...
20:47 Fri 18th Feb 20223 answers, last by Patsy33 21:54 Fri 18th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Wind................

I'm not saying that it is windy but my wheelie bin is on a speed awareness course on Tuesday.
15:36 Thu 17th Feb 20229 answers, last by Chipchopper 07:50 Fri 18th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Re-Homing..................

After 30 years together, in which we've always had pets, it appears my wife is allergic to animal fur. Therefore, she can't even be in the same room as our two old cats. I know this isn't a re-homing...
16:37 Wed 16th Feb 20223 answers, last by Patsy33 22:13 Wed 16th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Onions..................

A lorry spilled its 7 ton load of onions all over the M1 this afternoon. Motorists were all looking for a hard shoulder to cry on.
16:31 Wed 16th Feb 20223 answers, last by tonyav 22:13 Wed 16th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Three Girls...................

My wife has just phoned me to say that three girls in her office have received flowers and they are absolutely gorgeous. I said, "That is probably why."...
19:52 Tue 15th Feb 20221 answer, last by Stickybottle 20:01 Tue 15th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Doctor.................

Q. "What is it Doctor. A boy or a girl?" A. "We are not allowed to assume the gender anymore but it has got a tail."...
16:31 Tue 08th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Flowers..............

She - They're beautiful flowers but now I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air. He - Don't you have a vase....
20:11 Sat 05th Feb 20223 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:51 Sat 05th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Proverb.................

Old Chinese proverb.................Man who walks through door sideways is going to Bangkok
16:18 Fri 04th Feb 20224 answers, last by zebo 16:54 Fri 04th Feb 2022
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Shaglene

Very Brave Men...................

1. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it. 2. What's the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 3. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care....
20:16 Mon 31st Jan 2022

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